For years I was a neurotic. I was anxious, depressed and selfish. And everyone kept telling me to change. And everyone kept telling me how I was neurotic.
And I resented them, and I agree with them, and I wanted to change, but I could not, however hard I tried.
What made me more harm that was also my best friend kept telling me how I was neurotic. He also kept insisting that I change.
And I agreed with him, and I could not resent him. And I felt so helpless and trapped.
Then one day, I said, 'Do not change. Stay as you are. No matter if you change or not. I love you just as you are, I can not help but love you. "
Those words sounded like music to the my ears: "Do not change. Do not change. Do not change ... I love you. "
And I relaxed. And I felt alive. And, oh wonder of wonders, I changed!
Now I know that I could not really change until I found someone who would love me, I was changed or not.
is how you love me, God?
And I resented them, and I agree with them, and I wanted to change, but I could not, however hard I tried.
What made me more harm that was also my best friend kept telling me how I was neurotic. He also kept insisting that I change.
And I agreed with him, and I could not resent him. And I felt so helpless and trapped.
Then one day, I said, 'Do not change. Stay as you are. No matter if you change or not. I love you just as you are, I can not help but love you. "
Those words sounded like music to the my ears: "Do not change. Do not change. Do not change ... I love you. "
And I relaxed. And I felt alive. And, oh wonder of wonders, I changed!
Now I know that I could not really change until I found someone who would love me, I was changed or not.
is how you love me, God?
(Anthony de Mello)
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